But, one time in particular, I remember a recipe called for us to blanch some broccoli, which neither of us had ever heard of, even less knew how to do. After some brief googling, we figured it out and the broccoli turned out delicious.
Blanching is a cooking process wherein the food substance, usually a vegetable or fruit, is plunged into boiling water, removed after a brief, timed interval, and finally plunged into iced water or placed under cold running water (shocked) to halt the cooking process.
This memory comes to mind, because I sort of feel like that broccoli right now. It sounds weird, but its the best way to describe moving to Korea. In America, I would have simmered and probably come out limp and soggy broccoli, but moving to Korea was a blanching process. I was plunged into an ice bath and was cooked immediately, brightening my color and solidifying my flavor.
I now have some sort of perspective on the world and know what I have to do. I don't know exactly what I want to do, but I need to start moving forward. Korea was that sudden moment of "Hey! You aren't a kid any more!"
I'm going to start studying for my GRE's and reapply to the JET Program. I want to be in Japan next year while Alexis is going to school at TUJ. Hopefully, after experiencing teaching a year in Korea I'll be more prepared for my interview (although I'm not sure how I'll get to it if I'm in Korea...).
Will I want to come back to Korea after that? I don't know. Maybe. It's certainly far too early to tell. I'm learning Korean anyway, because I really love the language. I really love the people too, but there's plenty of things I think I'll always miss about America. I already miss bath tubs, steaks, fast food, America pizza, and hot tubs.
Korea has plenty of things that beat out America, to be sure, but I'm starting to realize that it doesn't really matter where I go in the world. There's no magical place that can make you happy. It's the people that you surround yourself with that make you happy. I feel like a baby for being so homesick already, but family life was never the most stable...and now that it's sort of solidifying, it's hard to finally leave. I miss golfing with my family and going on boat trips or just hanging out in the back yard and talking. I never got to go deep sea fishing in America, and I definitely miss those stupid little things I forgot to take advantage of. I'm going to make sure to take advantage of every opportunity in Korea so I don't feel the same regret when I leave here.
I definitely needed to leave, but I don't really want to drift anymore. The guy I took over for has been moving from foreign school to foreign school for 8 years and has yet to call anywhere home. I find that kind of sad. I thought I was that kind of person for the longest time, but now I'm realizing I was just scared of finality. I still am. Moving into my apartment was the slowest process ever. I'm still honestly not 100% done with unpacking. Every time I get more settled in, it just feels that much more definitive. But at the same time, not being able to call anything or anyone home is more terrifying. Especially right now, I feel like a leaf in the middle of a pond.
I'm not trying to brood, but I'm definitely understanding that I want to put down roots at some point. Everyone says Korea is a great place to save up money, and that's true, but that's also because you don't put money into anything. I thought I hated Cocoa Beach, but now that I'm here....the grass is always greener right?
Definitely at an emotional low today, but it's positive as well because I'm setting goals. I'm getting a taste of a little bit of everything here, lifestyle-wise. In the end, this will be a great experience for me and I can walk away knowing a lot more about who I am and what I really want out of life.
You're like all of the other birds who leave the nest for the first time and fly. Eventually, the nest will be gone, but you'll still be able to fly. We all go through it. Plan for tomorrow, but enjoy the moment. Oh, and you only feel sorry for your friend who been doing it for eight years because you're still homesick. The longer you travel, the more you'll realize that nest doesn't feel the same anymore after a short visit back. And, everybody's family is dysfunctional. Some just hide it better than others. Have too much fun son, and keep the blogs coming. Chuck
ReplyDeleteI've subscribed to you and read every single post on your blog. I'm glad you're growing, even if it is painful at times. I'm sort-of, sort-of-not doing the same thing right now, and I know the homesick feeling too. I'm realizing though that I never made Florida my home, despite having never lived anywhere else. I'm afraid of never finding roots, of constantly wondering if this is "it."
ReplyDeleteRegardless, enjoy the human experience and let come what may. You're more equipped to handle it than you'd have yourself believe.