So I realize I haven't updated this in months. And I believe I've already apologized for this in an earlier post so, whatever. I think I transitioned as a person while I was in Korea.
My initial blog posts were "Oh wow! Look at me! I'm on the outside looking in! This is so strange! I must document it!"
But then at some point...I just became a part of Korea.
And maybe part of it is just that...what happened to me here eventually became far too personal to write down. Nothing that happened to me after I stopped writing this seemed consequential enough to write down. I did plenty of interesting things (like how I visited the Tim Burton exhibit in Seoul and took tons of awesome illegal photos that I still haven't gotten off my ass and uploaded) but those didn't seem to be my priority for being in Korea anymore. And this blog has always been more for me than for you anyway. So I didn't write about it. I didn't have time to write about it. I became insanely busy building my life.
Packing my suitcases today, I came across trinkets and letters (as one often does) that became a sort of trail of breadcrumbs back through my memories of my time here in Korea. Some of them terrible, some of them euphoric, but all of them necessary. And while following this trail back, I slowly began to realize who I am now is not at all the same man who started this journey. And I think that's a good thing.
I have so many people to thank..people who influenced me, for better or for worse, and taught me so much about myself.
So first I suppose I should start with thanking the people, even if they may never read this:
Part 1 of 3 - The Year Book (Goodbyes I'll Never Be Brave Enough To Say):
Robin: You will always be first on this list. You can't even speak English, you asshole. You taught me how to DJ and..more than that...you pushed me to be a good DJ. You acted like an older brother to me. You pushed me out of the nest before I was ready, let me fall on my face, then pushed me out over and over again. You carried me so far and you never ever had to. You changed my life forever.
Chris: While I'm talking about mentors, I can't forget you. You've had so much patience with me and my utter lack of music production knowledge. You've helped me every step of the way (and fuck you if you think you're done teaching me yet) and never given up despite the insane learning curve. You really brought me back to music and made me realize how much I love it and want to marry it and should have never left it.
Vivian: You are my best friend in Korea...and probably one of the best friends I will ever have in the world. You taught me not all Korean girls are crazy and some even think like Western girls (but sometimes you need a "Korean girl" emotional handicap anyway ;P). I hate how you think that I will forget about you when I'm back in America. There aren't many people like you in the world, let alone in Korea.
Britta: The opposite of Vivian...you taught me not all foreigners in Korea are xenophobic, cultural isolationists. No one else likes to party with Koreans as much as you and I do and I hope you'll be around for a bit when I get back so we can watch one last drunken sunrise together.
Kyungnam: You and Hyejin are also my best friends in Korea and it's so weird that we met so randomly at Zedd's concert. Who knew we would be this close? World DJ Fest and Ultra were so much fun. I really hope some day we can DJ together on stage. Inch and Flo #1 DJ Duo. I'm really sad you're going to America when I'm going back to Korea. But it's selfish of me to make you stay for me =P I hope you go to Florida. I will make sure everyone there treats you really well and you'll have a great time.
Hyejin: You are so fucking adorable. It's king of amusing how we get along so well even though I barely speak Korean and you barely speak English. Usually that would be uncomfortable, but with you I'm always happy. I hope we still hang out a lot even after Kyungnam goes to America. You're my music festival buddy! And you till have to make my DJ logo!
Bora/Gina: You guys were my first real friends in Korea. I think, just like any first real relationship, we just made a mess of things and never really fixed it. I hope we can soon. I honestly would probably have left Korea after my first few months if it wasn't for you. You pushed me to chase my dreams and did everything you could to help me succeed. I hope some day I can replay that favor.
Naz: Just like with Bora and Gina...I'm not sure what went wrong between us or why we never bothered to fix it. We're stubborn assholes, I guess. Interestingly, I've never really seen the side of Naz that becomes the legends of foreigners across Gyeongsangnam-do, but I've seen a different side of you that many people don't typically get to see, I think. And we've been in some shit together ourselves. I hope everything goes well for you and I really have no doubt it will. You have an infectious quality about you I can only just marvel at.
Walker: I'm really stoked we're both moving to Daegu next year. I like your vibe and how you can just be yourself regardless of the company you're with. I don't think I ever told you that. Sometimes you're fucking awkward, but you're always yourself, always honest, and there's a lot the be said for that.
Bongsun: Fuck. We didn't hang out as much as I wanted to at all, but that's understandable because you are a university student and really busy. Your design work is amazing and you shouldn't worry so much about getting a job. I'm sure you will have no trouble. Be confident! I want to see you more when I come back!
DJ JunH/DJ EPIK/DJ Robby: I loved playing with you guys at Club MK and The Nin9. You are like brothers to me. I wish our lives weren't so crazy and we could have hung out more. Someday we will all DJ together again. I learn so much from each of you. Robby...keep practicing. You have a lot of talent and you will become a great DJ yourself someday if you just keep fighting. Always have confidence in yourself!
Casey: I've said this a thousand times, but fuck it I'll say it again. Fuck you. Come back to Korea. I miss you. Seriously. You're my other half. I'm going to be as gay about this as possible. It's kind of good you left, because I think I was so happy just chilling with you all the time, I don't think I would have had the drive to pursue DJing or anything if you were still here. But now that I've found myself, it's safe for you to come back, okay?
Caitlin: I think we've come to realize our personalities mix about as well as oil and water. I'm sorry for getting drunk and vomiting all over your bathroom on New Year's Eve. I don't usually throw up. It was one hell of a party. Regardless of how much stress we cause each other though, you're still an awesome person and also one of the reasons I survived Korea. If you hadn't found me, terrified and entrenched in my apartment, I would probably have bought the first ticket home after month 3.
Hyerim: My first Korean friend! You suck and moved to Australia before we could get really close, but next year in Daegu will be amazing! I hope you're as excited as I am.
All the great people I've met foreigner and native alike in Korea: Seriously wish I wasn't so anti-social/busy at times so I could have spent more time with you. There's so many great people in Changwon, each doing amazing things. I have no idea how people like Sunil can orchestrate a full theatrical production in a foreign country. Or how John, Heather and Tamas can organize these giant events and facebook groups and keep everyone in the know and really make Changwon's foreigner culture blossom. Or how James can join an intercity soccer league in Korea. Or how Conrad can race motorcycles competitively in Korea. All of you do such amazing things and were part of inspiring me to find myself, my niche, and you're all great drinking company besides!
Okay...now that that is done...for the rest of you out there...back in the states or elsewhere. Here are some things I've learned in Korea that I shouldn't have had to travel across the world to learn. So I'll present them to you here so you don't have to (even though you really should):
Part 2 of 3 - Advice From A Greenhorn Living Abroad:
1) Do what you really want to do...by any means necessary. This seems like a no-brainer...but seriously. I changed majors like 10 times in college and gave up doing many things I loved because someone along the way told me "these's no career in this" or "you'll never make money doing this". I gave up drawing, gave up writing...and worst of all..gave up my first love: music. But then i came to Korea and music found me again. And I kicked myself for having let someone talk me into giving it up in the first place. Who knows where I would be if I had never put down my violin, my drums, my guitar. Now I'm making up for lost years and I won't make that mistake twice. Fine. Maybe music wil never be my career. Maybe I'll DJ bars with 6 regular patrons for the rest of my life. Maybe no one will ever listen to my music. I don't care. It's what I want to do. Fuck you if you tell me I can't do it.
2) Learn a language. Seriously...I don't remember hardly any of the Spanish I took in high school or the Italian I took in college. But you are so much better off if you learn a language well. There are so many friends you're missing otu on making, opportunities you're missing out on taking, by refusing that skill.
3) Don't judge someone because their culture is different than your. You're more alike than you think. Yes...Korean relationships are crazy, juvenile roller-coaster rides. But just because their standards for relationships are different, doesn't mean they think differently...or even want different things ultimately. I rememver one conversation with Vivian when I explained the word "Ephemeral" came from the Ephemera fly and she told me they had that same word association in Korean...and it blew my mind in that moment. It clicked with me that languages develop differently but our mental processes are the same. Every human being reaches the same conclusions and perceives the world exactly the same. Again..this seems obvious, but sometimes the face of culture is so different than the mind.
4) Try everything. Try it. Food. Adventures. Whatever. Try it. I'm an atheist, so I believe this chance is our only chance at live. But even if you believe otherwise, you still owe it to yourself to try as mucha s you can in the lifetime. Experience everything. Why not? Try some disgusting food. What's the worst that will happen? Try some feat you never thought you could accomplish before. You might surprise yourself. This has easily become the mantra for my life. I've done things in Korea that I never would have tried in America...and I'm not really sure why location had any bearing on it.
5) Live lightly. This is just a note from a traveller's perspective...but the more things you accumulate, the more they seem to tie you down to a place. Take some time and go through everything you own. Divide it into essential and non-essential. What can you live without? What do you need? You'll find you have a lot of bullshit. Cut it out. I can carry 90% of my life in a suitcase and a bag. This feels really...freeing. Yeah...I have some collector's items at home. But all that nostalgic stuff...it's nice. But I don't need it. The people who gave me that stuff will always be in my hearts. The only reason we keep it is to honor them. Show them you love them regularly and you don't need that.
Part 3 of 3 - Advice To Those Who Wish To Follow My Footsteps (And Learn From My Mistakes):
1) Learn about the culture in advance. Wherever you go..do yourself a favor. Learn some basic phrases, some of the geography, and a bit of the culture before you go. I set myself back two months by knowing jack-shit about Korea before I came.
2) Network before you get there. Have people in place to help you get situation. There's tons of Facebook groups and websites these days that will help you. I wish I had done this.
2) Don't waste suitcase space. I seriously overpacked for Korea. I brought like three suits. Why did I think I would need three suits? I wore one of them. Once. Huge waste of space. Research where you're going...but chances are most places have the things you need. I packed tons of razors and deodorant...come to find out that it's easy to find and regularly priced in Korea. Fuck packing your favorite snacks or whatever you want but they don't have in Korea. You'll run out of it soon anyway. Accept you're in a foreign country. Eat their food. Adapt.
3) What you should pack:
a) Extension cords with multiple sockets for your electronic devices so you don't have to buy a ton of adapters.
b) A sturdy travel pack that has lots of compartments. Spend good money on it. It'll need to last you.
c) An American toothbrush.
d) pillowcases/sheets (that stuff is expensive here)
e) Some clothes (and maybe shoes) for all weather. I'm from Florida. I brought a year supply of summer clothes. Winter almost killed me.
4) What you should buy/do immediately when you get there:
a) Buy a wifi router for your house or have someone set one up for you.
b) Get a cell phone/cell phone plan. I tried going 6 months without one and my life was infinitely better after I caved.
c) Get some mode of transportation whether that is a bus pass, bicycle, subway pass, Something. Make it a priority. And get an English map if you can.
d) Cleaning supplies/household amenities: It'll put you out a couple hundred bucks initially and may seem daunting, but you want your place to feel like home. The more you do that, the less homesick and uncomfortable you'll be.
e) Get to know shop owners and people in your general vicinity. I wish I had talked it up with my landlord when I moved in. Took me ten months. He's a really nice guy. I also befriended some local restaurants and sometimes get free food.
- End of Series -
So that's it. My life has changed a lot. I've begun DJing, producing music, learning Korean. And I really love Korea. Coming back next year, my plan is to drastically improve my Korean and begin making a name for myself as a DJ in Korea. I also want to become a better teacher and I know working at a public school will push me to do that. I have this feeling that next year is going to be a big year for me. The dominoes are set...I only need to put them in motion.
I now have my life neatly packed away in four massive suitcases. Two are staying here because I have every intention of coming back to finish what I started.
Chapter 1 is finished. Chapter 2 has yet to begin.
